Every year around this time I find my self more in tuned with Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost. And I know the reason why. Four years ago today a very special person left this earth. He was perfect and led a great example (even though he was not even five months old yet). I have been having a really hard time lately because I miss him so much even though it was so long ago! I want to thank Troy and Melissa for letting me spend so much time with their angel and letting us go on all our "dates" when the twinnies would go to sleep! Chase truly changed my life and I will never forget him.
I wanted to write the occurrences of the day that he died because I have never written it down. Although I would like for it to have not happened it did and I need to put it in my journal!
It was a Tuesday night October 31, 2006. I was over at Troy and Melissa's watching the twinnies, Melissa had taken Chase to the hospital because he had a bad tummy (I believe... see I am already forgetting). The twinnies and I were having fun dancing around the room and playing with toys just like a typical day- when the Home phone started to ring. The caller ID said PCH Hospital (the hospital Chase was at) and right then I knew what was going on. The lady asked if my mom was home and I told her no but that I could give her Melissa's cell phone number. After the phone call I went and called my mom to tell her what happened because the hospital was going to call Melissa so I couldn't call her. As soon as I hung up the phone with my mom I went into the other room and said a prayer that Chase would live, be okay and be able to come home and see us. I started crying and the twinnies were very confused so I knew I had to stop because it wouldn't be good for them.
As the night crept along Chase got worse. I remember getting updates from my dad (because he had gone down to the hospital to give Chase a baby blessing). My mom came over to help me get the twinnies ready for Halloween and I think we both knew it wasn't going to turn out good. I don't remember who called or how we found out Chase died but I remember feeling so helpless and frustrated because I had prayed to Heavenly Father and I wanted Chase to come home! My mom and I took the twinnies trick-or-treating and we told some close neighbors and some church members what had gone on each one of them asked "How are you so calm?"
Troy, Melissa and my Dad came home from the hospital after he died and to this day I can still picture them walking in the front door with Chase's car-seat... empty. That was the moment I knew it was for real and remember forever.
We went home and I don't even remember how I slept or even woke up for school the next day. But I do remember saying our morning family prayer and we couldn't even get through them without sobbing. Throughout the day at school I had people come up to me and ask me why/how I was here.
Thinking back on that night I know that it was Heavenly Father's Will for Chase to leave his life here on earth. And I know I made it through with Heavenly Father by my side. I know that Chase is in Heaven with Heavenly Father and is helping Him with his work. I know that if we are faithful and repent of our sins we will return and live with Heavenly Father and get to see our loved ones again. Chase's example is ever present, and has strengthened my testimony of the Church.
After Chase died Melissa had little necklaces made for us to remember Chase. The front has his hand print on it (of course it was shrunk) and the back says "Baby Chase 2006"
Here is mine:
We love and miss you Chay-Chay!
Love Sissy!
